What
I was feeling when I heard Gatsby was dead
I
couldn’t move or breathe. Time had stopped and my entire world had come to a
painful halt. I sat in denial hoping this was all a terrible night mare I’d
soon wake up from. I hated myself for not waiting for him now even more than
ever. But this wasn’t even the worst part. The worst part is why he was shot.
It was because of me. I was driving the car that night and I accidental killed
Myrtle and now Jay is dead. He’s dead and it’s all because of me. I was even
the one who made him get blamed for it. I couldn’t bare to stay where I was any
longer. I couldn’t look across the dock anymore without feeling guilty.
I
decided along with Tom that moving away would be the best idea. We moved far away
into the mountains without even attending Gatsby’s funeral. I was a horrible,
horrible person. Nick probably hated me as well thinking I was selfish. He
wouldn’t be entirely wrong. I just couldn’t bare it. I’ve avoided things and
hid behind money my entire life. That’s why I never ended my marriage with Tom
or confronted my obvious feeling for Gatsby, because I’m one to avoid. I have
made some awful mistakes and hated myself for someone awful things but I have
never felt a pain and regret so strong.
Daisy, I am hurt.
ReplyDeleteYou could have risen above what you were afraid of your entire life, but you stepped away with Tom. I did all this for you, and you did not even come to my funeral. I stole for you, traveled the world to amass the skills I would need to court you again, and you did not even say goodbye to me. The last time I saw you was when I told you that I would take the blame for Myrtle’s death, but even that wasn’t enough. You were worth it to me, so why wasn’t I worth it to you?
I suppose Tom won after all.
The Great Gatsby (Joseph Camello)