What I was feeling when I saw Gatsby again

What I was feeling when I saw Gatsby again

            Fear, regret, relief, remorse, comfort, love. It all came rushing back in an instant. I’d like to pretend that old feelings weren’t resurfacing but there was absolutely no denying it. I love Tom but I was in love with Gatsby. I’ve never felt that kind of spark before or since.

I spent of few minutes of my time realizing how painfully awkward this was going to be. He seemed incredibly nervous. One of the first things he did was accidentally knock over Nick’s clock. I was worried that when he saw me he would resent me for not waiting for him. But after what seemed like only a few fleeting moments, we were both talking and laughing just like the old times. He invited me over to his place and I was so taken aback by his new lifestyle. It was so glamorous. I also couldn’t stop myself from getting emotional when I saw his collection of English shirts. The entire night was pretty emotional to say the least. He even called down someone named Klipspringer to play piano. He played “Ain’t Wee Got Fun?” and I was having the best time.

I feel bad when I say that I forgot Nick was there most of the time. I was just so overwhelmed to see Jay again. I’d forgotten about everyone in that moment, even Tom. I do miss the days Jay and I were together. But I made all efforts to try to push those feelings further and further down. But of course I still love Tom and he’s my husband and I need to be with him. But seeing Gatsby in his new wealthy lifestyle does kind of make me wish I had waited for him. Sometimes I do question whether or not I made the right decision. That was just about all I could think about the entire time I was with him.